by Carole
I confess that submission is a truth for me to embrace in scripture. At least in the marriage context. While submitting to Christ carries it’s own difficulty, I don’t have trouble admitting that I need to submit to Him. But recognizing the need to submit to my husband is half the battle. Christ is perfect, Christ is God, etc. But my husband, as wonderful as he is and as much as I love him, is not God. However, this perfect God commands me to submit to my husband, as to Him. As much as I hate to admit it, I am not submitting to God if I don’t follow this command. I’ve done this study to learn the importance in following the Lord in this area.
Why is submission so difficult in marriage?
Pride. I think that I would do a better job. In reality, I could never do a better job because it is not my job to do. It is the husband's job to lead. My sister shared this thought with me: self-worth in our society is wrongly associated with the one who is in charge and commanding. But did not our Lord Himself submit? Christ Himself washes the disciples feet, saying: a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. (Luke 13:16) Here is the truth- we are all nothing apart from Christ.
Our war is not flesh and blood, but with spiritual evil. Marriage is God’s picture of Himself, His love for us. He uses the marriage union to represent His relationship with us His Bride. Marriage is the core of society, healthy marriages means healthy families, which in turn means a healthy society. I think this is the reason it is so difficult- it’s so important. Aside from our own misguided will, the spiritual attack comes in to destroy the family, adding an additional challenge in this area.
Why should I submit to my husband?
The first reason is that God commands me to. Jesus says: “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me.” (John 14:21). God’s commandments on submission: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24) “Let a woman learn silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.” (1 Timothy 2:11-12). Instead of qualifying these verses, let’s understand what they mean.
Rebellion is as witchcraft. I am speaking from experience. When I refused to submit to my husband, we argued about everything. It was not my husband who wrote these commandments, but the Lord. By disobeying Him in this area, I could not enter in to the fullness of His joy. He did not create marriage to be a burden and difficulty, but to be a wonderful blessing. Well, I was allowing the Devil a foothold by rebelling, and our marriage was not pleasing to the Lord. This will slowly deteriorate the marriage until things you never thought possible- things that only happen to “other” people- can come in.
What is biblical submission?
The attitude of submission is more than just following directions. It’s a lifestyle of meekness and gentleness, and reverence.
Let's look at the Ephesians 5:22-24 verse in depth:
Submit to your own husbands - unique within the marriage bond; we do not submit to all men as we submit to our husbands.
As to the Lord- when we submit to our husbands, we are doing it for the Lord to honor His commandment.So we must do it from a heart of gladness and cheerfulness, not grudgingly (how would we feel if our husbands grudgingly loved us as Christ loves the church? I have found that this happens more when I’m not respecting and submitting to him. We make it easier for our husbands when we submit as to the Lord.)
The husband is head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. This is a statement of fact. He does not need to earn this position or be elected to the office. He is head because he is a husband. This is simply the role and the order that the Lord establishes. We must respect his office and position. Remember that he is accountable for the family before the Lord, and he will be judged accordingly. While all men have different gifts and abilities, their wives can either encourage them in their role or be their greatest hindrance to biblical leadership.
Just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. How is the church subject to Christ? Let’s meditate on this a bit. The church is to do what Christ says, to follow Him. We as wives, likewise, are to do what our husbands say, and to follow them. They are the leaders in our home, which means we are their followers. In what? In everything. The Lord knows that this is the key to an amazing marriage. We are to deny ourselves anyways, what better place to start than in marriage?
